Is It Possible To Have A Mid-Life Crisis At 19?

Hello all.
Once again, it's been a crazy busy time for me.
My grandfather passed away last Sunday, and I made a huge decision not to return to Hesston College.

Why, you may ask?
I have spent my whole life trying to make other people happy. I've never taken my own feelings or wants into consideration. This, is a recipe for destruction.
Going to Hesston seemed perfect for me.
I would be rooming with my best friend.
I would be playing softball.
And I would be getting an education.

But I had this overwhelming feeling that I was making a wrong decision.
Then it clicked.
I was going because everyone else seemed to think it was a good idea.
I never even stopped to think, do I really want this?
When I finally did, I realized;
HOLY SHIT.
I do not want this.
I am not going to make other people happy.
This is my life.
And I can do whatever I want with it.

Of course, there is going to be trials and feelings of regret.
But there will be with any decision in life.
I want to be happy.
I want to be successful.
But losing my sanity is not worth making others happy.

Go ahead, tell me I've made a horrible decision.
I. Do. Not. Care.

I am starting to live my life for myself, and that's the best thing I could ever do.

I think we all get caught up in what is expected of us.
People go on missions cause their parents want them to.
People play sports they hate because their friends are on the same team.
People work jobs they absolutely loathe because their family expects it.

Life is tough enough as it is.
You may as well do the things you love, despite what everyone else wants of you.
You are your own person.
This is your only life.
Don't spend it wishing you could be doing something else.

Ignore people who think they know what's best for you.
Of course, advice and insight can be incredibly helpful.
But you know yourself better than anyone else.
Don't forget that.

Happy Friday, all!
Mwah.
-Lela